And it's not a shitty spam.

It's just venting about my past.

I hate my fucking life and for a long time music was my only reason to live.

But now I've found a new reason to live: cartoons.

I'll still make some joke spam animations here and there, but I don't want that to be all I do on Newgrounds. I want to make cartoons with meaning. A lot of stuff on Newgrounds seems too "happy" for me. So maybe I can make a tiny change by submitting cartoons that deal with issues such as addiction, depression, suicide, abuse, and other things me and my family has been through. Not just for shock value, but to raise awareness of the issues. My real dad died from addiction, I've been depressed and trying to kill myself ever since I was 12, I've been abused, etc. I don't want anyone else in the world to go through shit like that and as soon as people stop scoffing at kids who say they've been abused, then maybe someone will actually fucking do something about it. I never got my help, but I'll make sure the next kid does. Most people don't understand. They don't fucking know what it's like. That shit never leaves you once it happens. Every single time I see a kid, the first thing that comes to my head is "I hope that never happens to them" or "I hope he doesn't do that to someone" or jealousy because they look so happy and when I was their age I was being abused. Then I start feeling like a jerk, but I can't help it because all these thoughts happen so fucking fast. As for my adoptive parents, I would give my life to fucking kill them both. My adoptive mom laughed at me for cutting myself, she encouraged me to kill myself, she beat the shit out of me, she lied about being raped, and she didn't believe that I was raped. She never did anything for me but give me food. Not one ounce of emotional support. As for her boyfriend, he's just as bad. I planned out their murder when I was 15. They're lucky I wasn't smart enough to go through with it. Thankfully I don't live with them. I live with my biological mom now and we're slowly rebuilding our relationship. It's not her fault that I couldn't live with her. She was homeless and she wanted a better life for me. I'm sorry this turned into a rant, but just know that there's ACTUAL cartoons that I'll be making.