No matter what I do, I will never be truly happy. Injustice and torment floods my brain every goddamn day. That man will never be raped after doing it to me. That other man will never be held upside down and beaten after doing it to me. That evil woman will never be beaten and taunted for 14 fucking years after doing it to me. Injustice. It's all I can think about. It's not fair. What the fuck did I do to deserve this shit? And no matter how much I want to just end my suffering, I know that they win if I kill myself. But they've already won. They've ruined my life and continue to enjoy there's. No matter what, I lose. And I hate this fucking feeling. I hate that I can't walk up to at least one of them this very second and scar them for life. I hate that no matter how many short periods of happiness I have, I'll still end up wanting to blow my brain out of my skull and make someone else scrape all my memories off the fucking wall. And no matter how long I spend writing rants like this, I never feel better after getting it out. But much like life, at least I can say I'm trying. And I will keep trying. But just because I'm trying doesn't make it any easier.
S3C
i'm really sorry man