No matter what I do, I will never be truly happy. Injustice and torment floods my brain every goddamn day. That man will never be raped after doing it to me. That other man will never be held upside down and beaten after doing it to me. That evil woman will never be beaten and taunted for 14 fucking years after doing it to me. Injustice. It's all I can think about. It's not fair. What the fuck did I do to deserve this shit? And no matter how much I want to just end my suffering, I know that they win if I kill myself. But they've already won. They've ruined my life and continue to enjoy there's. No matter what, I lose. And I hate this fucking feeling. I hate that I can't walk up to at least one of them this very second and scar them for life. I hate that no matter how many short periods of happiness I have, I'll still end up wanting to blow my brain out of my skull and make someone else scrape all my memories off the fucking wall. And no matter how long I spend writing rants like this, I never feel better after getting it out. But much like life, at least I can say I'm trying. And I will keep trying. But just because I'm trying doesn't make it any easier.
Formerly known as StaticSkull. Ligma borthole.
Age 23, Female
fuck this life
kill yourself
you'll never be happy
Joined on 1/11/18
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Fuck everything
Comments
Once you outlive them you win. Especially thst wrinkly old ass grandfather
Gotta turn the other cheek. And let em fuck the rest
they sound like ass crackers
One of the few things I actually remember from school was a Mr. B (don't even remember his full name) in seventh grade telling us exactly that: life isn't fair.
Like it was just something we had to embrace; accept, and as time goes I find myself just randomly remembering those words at inopportune moments, and having small epiphanies on how I thought I had accepted that before but hadn't really; how much more unfairness there really is left to accept...
Hardship does make you stronger though, and I really hope all this injustice in turn makes you all the more just yourself. When you know how unkind the world can be maybe you're kinder to others; hopefully you grow stronger; hopefully all of this shit makes for something positive, and ultimately the justice you get is - if naught else - to be better than them. Move out, be successful; be superior; feel sorry for those who were so inept, weak, bitter and frustrated that they had to resort to physical abuse to find any form of momentary solace or meaning in their dull and dysfunctional lives.
You can be anything! In time, shake off all unfortunate circumstance and grow bigger and brighter and more resilient than they could ever be.
Actually just came here to say I never thought I'd see you use au paire in a sentence. XD Honored.
sneed
Weed
S3C
i'm really sorry man