As of today, I have tried everything in power to be happy

And much like my attempts in suicide, there was no success

A hotline created for these situations, could not do its job

And so they hung up, abandoning me just like everyone else

How can I be expected to control myself with such primal anger

A rage I wish to inflict even on those I love, as they were of no use

And even now, I am too cowardly to hurt myself or others

And like everyone I reach out to, I am of no use

The turmoil within my crusted brain is only warped

By words that I'm sure are meant to comfort me

I find no comfort in anyone, but I wish I could

Incapable of familial trust, incapable of helping myself

I have nobody, sad voices echo in my head eternally

I cling onto any chances of hope, but I can never maintain faith

Any efforts to better myself, will forever be a waste of time

For in the end, those efforts are stained with bestial hatred

It doesn't matter how fucking hard I try

I will still be wallowing in my blood, sweat, and tears by sunrise

Waiting for the day that a miracle worker can get the job done

I want to die on my time, before I realize it's wrong