There is no hope, no love, no cure 

Everything traces back to abusers 

You will never be happy and you fucking deserve it 

You fucking cunt, slash your legs, keep crying 

Mommy doesn't want to send the police on the holiday

Despair doesn't miraculously disappear on special days 

If miracles were possible, then I would already be dead 

And you would be cleaning my brain off the bed

Haunted by the stench of my misplaced anger

Why can't I cut myself, let me be numb 

You're preventing my comfort for the sake of your own

I will never get help screaming at stone walls

I promise nobody in public would even see my wounds 

Because only cowards do it for attention

I can't masturbate, I can't eat, I can't live 

So why do you prevent my only option of relief

All I have done is take you for granted

You should feel that I deserve this

I am a danger to myself, motherfucker

Due to my inability to be a danger to others

Do you know how relieving it would be 

To hurt everyone that isn't me 

To be the next active shooter 

To be the most feared serial killer

To finally experience screams of terror 

That are not confined to my brain and ears

I am the only one haunted by the screams 

The maniacal thoughts spewing insults at me 

Obviously, no one can here my mind screeching

If they were screaming themselves, maybe they'd understand

But I can't do it, and I can't force you to get it at all

Because in the back of my irrational head I know that's wrong

And so I put out my hateful thoughts in a song 

The entire time, basing my lyrics on irrational thoughts

And as I read it back, I see myself calling everyone evil

I see hurtful words directed at all the wrong people

I see hatred directed towards myself, it's not right

You don't think I know that? 

Of course I don't deserve to die

And neither does anyone else

Of course I didn't deserve my abuse 

No fucking shit 

My heart is aware of these things, running on humanity 

But my brain refuses to accept it, running on irrationality

And so my heart and my brain are always fighting 

My body is a battlefield, and I wish I could find peace 

I'm trying so hard to get help

Find peace and end this hell

But the option that seems the easiest

To nuke it all away with my death

I have the most accessible way to find peace surrounding me 

The easiest way out, but I have more shit to do in life, you see

So I take the hardest option, find help and remain alive

Not for me, not for anyone, I just have shit to do down the line