I try my best best to learn from all of my past mistakes

Yet I still find ways to live a life shrouded in hate

How can anyone bring themselves to look me in the face

I want to spread joy, but I'm only capable of spreading plague

Is this the reason that I was thrust upon this Earth?

Is my sole purpose in life to cause nothing but hurt?

I truly believe my rape was well deserved

Even if I was 4 years old, as I am now, it feels earned

If my life has been ruined then why bother living it?

Too cowardly to end it, I don't deserve to live, period

But instead I choose to remain a venom on this planet

A disease ridden vermin, poisonous and manic

I am nothing but the blackest bile from my mother's womb

I am worth nothing more than the eroded stone of my tomb

But don't worry, someday beneath the brightest moon

I will finally gain the courage to cause my doom

And the world continues to spin without me in it

Not a cloudy day, there is nothing different

This Earth is much better, there is less hatred

Now that I'm gone, in hell with my rapist