first off, i was half joking half not

second not even remotely close to how that works

do you think everyone with depression thinks they're important? i assure you they dont

i thought you were done being an asshole after you finally realized you defended a pedophile named mist for years

then again there is no cure for down syndrome

i hate myself because of 18 years of sexual mental and physical abuse

were you raped at 4? were you held upside down and beaten at 3? did you get beaten half to death from the ages of 7 to 18?

no you didnt @0315-1015

and yet im the one stuck with these suicidal thoughts, while people like you are the ones who actually deserve to kill themselves

@malachy already banned me and didnt even give the correct reason

hes banned me multiple times for a whole month before over petty shit and you cant even get the reason why correct? because you werent defending anybody. you were just so trigger happy to ban me.

i guarantee he didnt ban the guy who started it, because malachy is never consistent with his Bans as far as ive seen

For examples you can view other newsposts

so thank you for rewarding a guy who defends pedophiles, tells me im a narcissist for having to deal with sexual trauma, and has said many slurs that he was not banned for

you do a great job at enforcing the rules of this site

And I know you only did it because you don't like me

Evidenced by how you talk so condescending to me as if I'm a child

So many years have passed since the incident of that night 

So many tears, so many lies, how could I ever live a normal life? 

God knows I've tried, no matter how much I just wish to die 

No one has listened, why the fuck do I even try 

And you still sit here and lie from your tongue 

Try to convince me that you ever gave one shred of a fuck 

The damage is done, and it has been worsened 

When you tried to tell me that I was the one, who was in the wrong

Ruin me more, adopt me, cheat, ruin your family you whore 

Nobody there loved you, that is for sure 

So you took it out on me all the more 

Even though I had been fucked up since 4 

And now that I have been so vocal about what he has done 

Turn it around, tell me I'm right, tell me that you said so all along 

You are a coward, hypocrite, a cunt 

Someone so young, you must have thought, had not had enough

Tell me that it would have been different had I not acted up 

What the fuck did you expect from a child who had it so rough 

A child who did not know a good from a bad touch 

You were the mother that I had to love 

You were the mother that ruined my life 

Feeding me lies, beat me at night 

So many people could have pulled me aside 

And taught me earlier that this wasn't right

When the day inevitably comes that I make the choice 

To end it all after no one hears my voice 

I will haunt you, I'll curse your name 

Pray that you will get fucked til your cunt is maimed 

I want you to be abused until you go mentally insane 

I want you to go through so much worse than what he did to me 

I want you to know the feeling of a pit in your heart, like me 

I want to show you pure unbridled sexual hate 

I want you to experience the family tradition of rape

I want you to experience the family tradition of rape

I want you to experience the family tradition of rape

I want you to experience the family tradition of rape

A sweet little puppy, she is so innocent and pure 

So young and happy, too naive to want anything more 

As you lay next to my head, I feel so very torn 

I wish so badly that I could feel this thing you call joy 

As I look into your eyes, I feel such envy 

My heart could not break, if my head was empty 

I do not want pain, I have felt it plenty

And down to the day of my death, there will be no happy ending 

I cannot end it myself, I do not have it in me 

But there is no cure for despair, no matter how I plead 

My demise will not come swiftly, I just want to be at peace 

If God is real, I beg him, I beg him for my release 

I am begging you God, please just let me decay

I may lose my grip on reality, if I have to live one more day

Nobody else understands, how much this trauma weighs 

I do not want to breathe, if all I inhale is hate

Go ahead, flash your degree in psychology

And point me to your local doctor in therapy

You will never be able to help or understand me

No help, nowhere, no cure, no love from anybody

I do not want pain, I have felt it plenty

And down to the day of my death, there will be no happy ending

Where is it, the positivity that you claim surrounds me?

I do not see it, my anger has made me too blind to see

I just submitted my tax forms to Steam, so I can sign up as a developer. I want to make games again. But something that doesn't purposely suck ass this time. And I'm most likely gonna hire a bunch of people on newgrounds to help me out. It's gonna take a while but now that I have a steady stream of money from my job, I'm definitely gonna put aside some into developing this game. Im gonna use RPG Maker MV but I'm gonna try my best not to make it look like all the other RPG Maker stuff. So far, I know I'm going to need artists, beta testers, animators. I'm probably gonna compose the soundtrack myself. Im excited to do this. Newgrounds has lit up my creativity again.

edit: look at my youtube poop

I have trudged through the murky waters of existence

I do not know how many more years I can promise resistance

You and I both know I am doomed in these conditions

Eventually, death is destined to be my decision

And at that point, it will not matter if I am forgiven

All you can do is accept my eventual riddance

In the end, I cannot help but to laugh maniacally at my sickness

For even the grief is ultimately futile and meaningless

Until the time comes that I bow my head to the noose

I will remain among the living, not for me, but for you

That does not make it easy to not to burn down my roots

We all have our ways of distracting from the memories of abuse

So please, when I do eventually resort to suicide

I beg you not to make believe that I have not tried

With each passing day, these thoughts are amplified

But I will ensure you are happy, before I have died

People are dying to have some form of power over me

Some form of authority to tell me what to do, how to be

It seems no matter what, time and time again

I am betrayed by a snake who claims to be a friend

It does not matter where I go

A snake will always follow

No matter who I think I know

In the end, my back is hollow

I refuse to continue being lured in and torn apart

I don't need to hurt if I don't know who you are

Instead of being driven crazy by you worms

I'd much rather lose sanity on my own terms

Isolation, I will quarantine myself until my end

My only companion shall be my hopelessness

I cannot be helped, there is no cure for apathy

Any joyous day comes back to misanthropy

I cannot and will not trust anyone with a face

For behind that face is intent to fuel my hate

If I speak to, yet never meet you

I can only see the truth

I cannot have the romance I long for if I'm alone, oh well

The chatter in my head is loud, and it's made my life hell

The voices always tell me that I will never feel better

I doubt I could manage a coherent suicide letter

I can't fucking focus on anything going on

The thoughts only echo that I deserve to be gone

I don't trust anyone, people live to do wrong

I can't explain the commotion in my head with just this one song

Art that is his own his old account from sperging in 2015

Just to prove that it's him

Anyone who has seen his "art" will recognize that it's his

Oh look even the mods believed he was a pedophile

Got these from this thread btw

https://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1400595

for anyone who doesnt know, mist has been harassing me for weeks on end daily

mist be like

fastbootsza, mist, and huzzu keep coming back under different names, im assuming because he has a vpn

this has been going on for 2 years. and theres nothing i can really do but keep blocking him.

so from now on, if you want to send me a PM, you need to add me first

also i made a ytp check it out

edit: from now on i also have to make my newspost comments approved only since this guy is doing everything he can

he is almost 30 btw

And this time it's solid unlike my usual sweet tea

@tailsprower @olskoo-the-first @damnedbyfate @seth @s3c @wegra @fro @chdonga @henryeyes

Fuck all of you, look at my shit

speaking of poop

i just made my first ever youtube poop

As of today, I have tried everything in power to be happy

And much like my attempts in suicide, there was no success

A hotline created for these situations, could not do its job

And so they hung up, abandoning me just like everyone else

How can I be expected to control myself with such primal anger

A rage I wish to inflict even on those I love, as they were of no use

And even now, I am too cowardly to hurt myself or others

And like everyone I reach out to, I am of no use

The turmoil within my crusted brain is only warped

By words that I'm sure are meant to comfort me

I find no comfort in anyone, but I wish I could

Incapable of familial trust, incapable of helping myself

I have nobody, sad voices echo in my head eternally

I cling onto any chances of hope, but I can never maintain faith

Any efforts to better myself, will forever be a waste of time

For in the end, those efforts are stained with bestial hatred

It doesn't matter how fucking hard I try

I will still be wallowing in my blood, sweat, and tears by sunrise

Waiting for the day that a miracle worker can get the job done

I want to die on my time, before I realize it's wrong